unexplained frustration

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Sometimes relationships just don’t work.  It’s no ones fault (is this a cop out?) but things don’t mesh, personalities don’t go and frustration builds.  

I click the links, read the blogs, see the FB page and every. single. time. I get frustrated at how everything I see grates me the wrong way.  I don’t know why I bother to look in the first place….what am I looking for?  

I read the blog and think I see myself in the posts; pointed jabs at me – posts that are offensive and rude, off-putting and plainly, not nice.  Too concerned with seeming waif-ish and coy, pixie and adorable, all the while pretending not to care; but I can see you do nothing but scream ‘love me! accept me! i’m quirky! love me! — I can’t take how you’re insecure, want to be loved and at the same time push away those who would stand by your side.

I think at a base level I’m saddened at a friendship that ended, even though it could have been avoidable.  I heard last weekend that you were telling ‘stories’ about me this past fall.  I heard this on my birthday when you never bothered to call.

So here’s my passive aggressive blog post, in following with how you like to roll — friendship, officially over.


Digital Overload

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My head is spinning. There are just so many communication outlets hitting me at all times I almost don’t know who to answer first.  This was me on Tuesday morning:

Sitting on my bed in my apartment, personal laptop open:

1) listening to a conference call on my personal cell phone

2) getting AIM IMs to my bberry

3) getting gchat  IMs on my computer

4) work emails landing on my bberry

5) personal emails landing on my bberry

6) work emails landing in my Outlook

7) gmail emails arriving on my laptop

8)  aol emails being routed to my gmail, arriving on my laptop

9) using Salesforce.com to send a copy of an email blast to a coworker

10) while checking the weather online

11) and updating my FB status

there’s too much!

Right now I’m sitting at the desk in my hotel room in New Orleans and have the following windows open:

1) my blog

2) Facebook

3) Twitter

4) Gmail

5) outlook

6) AIM

but all those messages get routed to my bberry on top of any texts I might be receiving.  I’m getting them all through multiple outlets and I find myself checking my bberry even though I”M SITTING AT MY COMPUTER.

This is unbelievably ridiculous.  I’m in a digital overload.