My happiness surprises me.  Truly.  I’ll find myself walking down the street at night, the sun setting behind me, casting a shadow of myself before me – and it’ll hit me.  I’m happy.

My life isn’t perfect and let’s get real, it probably never will be – does a perfect life actually exist?  I really like my job.  It still surprises me.  It fulfills me; challenges me.  I enjoy my co-workers and it doesn’t encroach on my personal life.  I make enough money to survive (the caveat being that one can ALWAYS make more money in NYC) and I have amazing friends.

I’ve created/found/been blessed with an urban family that I love; people that I can’t imagine my life without. I love that on any given week I have plans three nights during the work week and inevitably, plans on Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  I used to think that I needed extensive ‘me’ time, but as it turns out – I don’t.  If I’m sitting at home in my apartment with no where to be, I’m bored.  

I haven’t watched television in months and I don’t miss it.  I really feel like it’s a form of escapism that I don’t need anymore.  Watching television doesn’t benefit my life in any way, and no, I didn’t see The Office/Grey’s Anatomy/Lost/Rock of Love last week, but I know on my deathbed I won’t care.

I don’t love NYC, but I do love my life in NYC.  If it wasn’t for the people in my life, I can imagine that my life would be much less rich – but I am blessed with these people, by these people.   

My apartment is small and never seems to be as clean as I like it.  I get paid more than I ever have and yet NYC (and apparently my social life) sucks my wallet dry.  I’m getting healthier and still I feel like I’ve such a long way to go.  I live in a city of millions and still find it hard to meet a decent man.  Each category of my life could be better – but life isn’t perfect.  It never will be.

Even despite that fact, I have a joy and a happiness that I almost can’t explain.  I’m truly happy and the foundation of that is: 

I am blessed.  I am truly blessed.  And I can’t even begin to explain how thankful I am for that.

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